I took the long way home from work tonight. There’s something awesome about just driving along the streets at night that just makes it easier to think clearly for once. With all the things that go on in life, I just need to be in a place where I can just think and not worry about what’s going on in front of me.
In this case, sort of.
Tonight’s drive made me think about the future and what I need to do, because I’ve got so many decisions to make for the summer. Do I partake in a spiritual journey to Fiji for a month? Do I hit up California with the old boys and geek out at Comic con? Or do I sacrifice it all just so I can make a few more extra dollars by doing a second term of co-op? It’s just one of those things that make you wish you had it all, but in the end one has to give. I’m almost graduating from school – scary thought – and I just feel like this is going to be my last chance at doing something incredible before I go off into the so called ‘real world’ – what is that really?
I want to go somewhere that will allow me to better myself spiritually, connect with my God and maybe make an impact on people I have yet to meet. I want to have fun with friends and enjoy whatever is left of my youth. I want to make money and be sure that when I finally realize this ‘real world’ I’ll be able to approach it head on without worrying about putting food on the table. Maybe I’m just making this summer to be something that it really isn’t, but I realize that this might truly be the last true summer I’ll ever have.
I’ll look back on what I wrote tonight and regret everything, because I’m in a state of fatigue – and I should never be writing when I’m completely spaced out. But even if nothing was resolved tonight, at least I got to enjoy some time to myself and for once, not caring about the moment.
Quick random thoughts, free of the excess that would otherwise take up an entire blog post for each one:
1) Olympics are over, and I am sad. But I do not regret, I had fun and for the most part did what I wanted to do during the festivities. 2) Team Canada may have won gold, but I still prefer a Stanley Cup parade in Vancouver. 3) Now that I know how you feel, would you wait for me? 4) Writing songs is hard. Deadline in April coming up fast. 5) Twitter is addictive. Please join so more people may experience more of Matt. 6) Work sucks, I know. But at least I get paid. 7) Fiji in July? Would it benefit me spiritually? Would I be allowed to come? eight) And furthermore, if I were to be offered it, would a second term of co-op be worth it? 9) These pictures won’t upload themselves. 10) More ‘beholding,’ less day dreaming. 11) Vox AC30 or a Bogner Ecstasy? Combo amp or cool half stack? 12) I have yet to venture into the art of cooking. Who’s up for helping me out? 13) Sleep is the enemy. 14) March already. Darn. 15) The Fray – Happiness.
There’s something absolutely touching about being around people you’re comfortable around, to know that there are people out there that care and think about you. That’s what we all want, isn’t it?
These past three days I’ve been bombarded with texts, Facebook wall posts and surprises at every turn. Just today a friend brought in a cake and an entire room wished me a happy birthday. Honestly, does that happen to many people? I remember joking on twitter that Friday would mark the beginning of ‘the world wide celebration.’ While a celebration of that scope did not exist this weekend, it certainly felt like I was a king for those days I experienced the love and care of all the friends and acquaintances I’ve come to know these past few months, years and for some since we were mere kids hanging out on the playground during recess. I wish I could live in this moment forever, but unfortunately that’s not how life goes. But I have the pictures to relive and remind me of how absolutely blessed I am right now.
So to all those that took the time to wish me well this weekend, I thank you. You have no idea how much it means to me right now. I truly feel alive right now.
Should have probably kept this in the twitter feed, but this collection by CXXVI for spring 2010 looks pretty rad too. I’m really feelin’ thehoodies they have in the online shop.
How I almost forgot it. After all these years, I still love it. And I still love you, Bouncing Souls. Come back from Europe and get your butts over here!