San Francisco

July 26th, 2014 § 1 comment § permalink

I’m sitting in a coffee shop somewhere in downtown San Francisco right now. Decided that I wanted to travel solo here earlier this year. I’ve been meaning to do this for a while now, and I guess partly out of necessity – when I told my friends I was coming down here to run a marathon, they thought I was crazy. And also because I had never traveled on my own before. Being in my late 20′s it was probably long overdue. But after a couple of days into this trip, I’m glad I did it.

It’s not like I don’t enjoy travel companions, and I don’t think I’d recommend this to anyone – some people need to feed off of someone else in order to enjoy new experiences that traveling has to offer. But maybe I’m a little different. I guess it’s because I’m a bit of an introvert, and for most of my life I’ve been a bit of a loner. I don’t have any problems being alone, and the majority of the time I never get bored when I’m by myself. That’s probably why I enjoy running, but anyways.

I also wanted to go out on my own because for a while now, I’m not sure that I’ve been really myself. There’s been a lot going on this past year that I’ve had to try and sort out, I’ve always seen going out of town as a form of therapy. I don’t think I’ve truly disconnected myself from home – impossible – but just for a couple of days, if I could experience living a life different than the one I left behind, then I say mission accomplished.

Tomorrow I’ll be running my first out of town marathon at an ungodly 5:45 AM start time. I love to travel and I love to run. When you combine the two, you get one hell of an adventure.

Reveling in the chaos

June 30th, 2014 § 0 comments § permalink

I woke up earlier than I thought I would today. I must of slept for only 6 hours, but I guess that's because my body has been conditioned to do that for the past two years because of my job. Last Friday was my last day, and waking up this morning, I don't think it's really hit me yet. Maybe when I look at my bank account later in the month I'll realize what had happened, but for now it just feels like day one of a two month holiday before school starts up in the fall. I haven't been in this situation in a while, unemployed and with plenty of time in my pocket. It's unsettling in a way, because I remember the last time I was in this spot. How hard it was to find a job and not knowing what was going to happen to me. But for some reason, I'm attracted to that lack of comfort in my life, and the reason why I decided to forego a stable paycheque for something more. I knew it was going to be rough coming out of university – and it was – and this is going to be no different.

A European Whirl

June 5th, 2014 § 0 comments § permalink

DSCF0607

Went to Europe, saw some things.

Fighting it out

May 14th, 2014 § 1 comment § permalink

I received my acceptance letter a few weeks ago, so I guess it's official: I'm going back to school this fall.

There's a part of me that's terrified of this decision. I'll be removing myself from a fairly cushy job and volutarily going back to living like a student again, which can be fun, but it can also be an uncomfortable lifestyle for someone who's used to seeing a paycheque every two weeks. I think most of all, I'm scared of what's ahead of me. There are no guarantees in life, and I'm not sure what the road ahead is going to look like.

But I guess what keeps me going is the lessons I've learned in life so far. That it's OK to be scared of the unknown, and that ambition comes with a certain amount of risk that we have to learn to tolerate.

Too many hours in this midnight

April 23rd, 2014 § 0 comments § permalink

'I'm in repair, I'm not together but I'm getting there.'

Decompressing

April 15th, 2014 § 2 comments § permalink

Flex day today. This one's a little different though. My days off since January have been spent writing exams, with the one yesterday being my last. I woke up this morning with no where to go, no place to be. It's a surreal feeling because I haven't had a day where I didn't feel pressured to have any sort of obligation to meet. No spectre of some sort of deadline over my head. Some people relish in being busy and preoccupied, but after four months of kicking and screaming through full time work and school, it's nice to breathe.

I got asked this over the weekend

March 24th, 2014 § 0 comments § permalink

"Why are you doing this to yourself?"

This was in reference to my schedule these days, which has been dominated by mostly school work. I hadn't been out of the house very much since January. I haven't seen my friends very often since the semester started, my time was mostly thinking about school 50% of the time, working 25% and whatever was left was spent training for the marathon and dragonboat practices. It was 2 AM in the morning while I was studying for a final that I realized that these past 3 months I haven't been living like a normal human being. I wanted to pull a Dave Chappelle.

I didn't know what to say to him at the time. I guess when it comes to ambition, there's a level of psychosis and sacrifice involved that sometimes we don't understand.

'cause I wonder sometimes of a still verdictless life.

Living in the grey

March 11th, 2014 § 0 comments § permalink

It’s a terrible feeling knowing that in the end, your feelings meant nothing at all.

What a waste. I need to start trusting my friends more.

Been getting into folk lately

February 13th, 2014 § 1 comment § permalink

It’s been a long time since 22

February 5th, 2014 § 0 comments § permalink

It was a low key 27th for me. Used my birthday pass this year to go out for a run after work, then locked myself up in a room playing the guitar for God knows how long. I've been swamped with school work every day since January, and I told myself that I'd spend today doing anything but. It was nice to – at least for a night – do things that I've enjoyed doing since I was 15. My mind was blank this evening. I missed that.

Thank you all for the birthday wishes. I don't like making a big deal out of my birthday when it comes, but I do make it a priority to express my thanks for those who recognize it.