Po Po

May 6th, 2015 § 1 comment § permalink

After a lengthy battle with Alzheimers, we laid our Grandma to rest yesterday in a small ceremony that brought together our immediate family and those that had known her before the disease took over.

I was asked to prepare a short speech at her funeral, which I immediately recoiled upon hearing the request: how do you simplify someone's life in a few short words, much less your Grandma? Why was I chosen to do it? 

I was not as close to her as some of her other grand children. Unlike my cousin's experiences growing up, she never stayed over at our house – ours was way too small – and at times it was hard for me to communicate with her. But growing up, we did see her every week. I was also reminded by my relatives of the fact that being her eldest grand child meant a lot to her, and that she would have been happy if I did it.

The task was daunting to me and I wasn't sure if I really wanted to do it at first. I had to ask myself if I was really capable of doing this, and whether I was able to do it justice for her. But after reading other people's experiences in delivering eulogies, being asked to deliver something like this should be treated as a gift, not simply a deed which you must complete at the behest of the ones asking. That hesitation turned to determination. 

Even a day after the funeral, I still worry about it. Did I say everything that should have been said? Did I spend enough time on it? What did people think? What would she have thought? I remind myself that in the end, the only people that really matter is my family and my Grandma. Everyone else shouldn't matter at all.

Goodbye, Po Po.

XO

April 16th, 2015 § 0 comments § permalink

…so that happened.

Untitled

April 14th, 2015 § 0 comments § permalink

I never thought I'd feel this way again, but here we are. It's the kind of thing that keeps you up at night, for both the good and bad reasons. I don't know what to make of it right now, but I'll try not and not get too far ahead of myself this time around. Because things happen, and where this takes me, I'll try and enjoy the moments as they come.

"See what a man you can make of me."

Clarity

March 27th, 2015 § 0 comments § permalink

And I will wait to find if this will last forever.

Preach

February 21st, 2015 § 0 comments § permalink

Report writing these past couple of days has given me the opportunity to catch up and digest in music that I haven't had much time to listen to until now. I'm not the biggest hip hop guy around, but Drake's surprise release 'If You're Reading This It's Too Late' is actually not too shabby.

1985 was a good year

February 19th, 2015 § 0 comments § permalink

Can't wait for the new album.

Boring, old fashioned

February 9th, 2015 § 1 comment § permalink

Kept my head down and had a low key birthday this year, had a few of the guys over and watched the game. I'm not big on organizing a big bash in my honour these days. It's one of those things where I just feel awkward when I get the attention of the entire room. What do you do with it?

On hold

January 18th, 2015 § 1 comment § permalink

I sort of saw it coming, but coming into this program, I don't think I'll be able to run any marathons this year. It sort of kills me to even come to that decision, but due to the full time nature of training for one and the amount of assignments coming in from school, I think it would be best if I put it on hold until the dust settles for a bit. Still hoping I'll be able to hit my goal for the 10K this year, but we'll see what happens I guess.

No more coffee at 11PM from now on

December 24th, 2014 § 0 comments § permalink

2014 was a strange duck of a year for me. I say that because I'm not sure whether or not I categorize it as either a good or a great year. It was a horrible year for the family as we lost our grandpa earlier, and with Christmas Day less than 24 hours away, it's going to be different. It was different when I lost my other grandpa a couple years back as well. On the other hand, I had an amazing summer and it's looking like the year will end on a bit of a high note. But it would be impudent to consider this year a good year after what happened earlier. Maybe categorizing how a year went is too antiquated of an approach now. It's too unrealistic to expect a year to be perfect, and maybe that's the problem.

The things I think about at 3 in the morning on Christmas Eve.

Post Exam Week Reflection

December 15th, 2014 § 0 comments § permalink

It's been a couple days since finals ended, and in essence, the end of my first term at BCIT. I knew going into this term that BCIT had a reputation for pushing their students to their mental limits, and after going through the meat grinder myself, I guess the stories were true. After 5 exams in one week – two the week before – I think this semester has killed all my drive and excitement over school that I once expressed a few months earlier. I think it's safe to say, after I graduate this is it for my academic career.

Wanted to decompress after the term ended. I've been up since 9AM today, decided to engage in activities that wouldn't really use my brain a whole lot. It's almost 5PM and I don't think I've checked my phone at all.  Aside from this I've been pretty disconnected from everything today. Fuck.