…so that happened.
I never thought I'd feel this way again, but here we are. It's the kind of thing that keeps you up at night, for both the good and bad reasons. I don't know what to make of it right now, but I'll try not and not get too far ahead of myself this time around. Because things happen, and where this takes me, I'll try and enjoy the moments as they come.
"See what a man you can make of me."
And I will wait to find if this will last forever.
Report writing these past couple of days has given me the opportunity to catch up and digest in music that I haven't had much time to listen to until now. I'm not the biggest hip hop guy around, but Drake's surprise release 'If You're Reading This It's Too Late' is actually not too shabby.
Kept my head down and had a low key birthday this year, had a few of the guys over and watched the game. I'm not big on organizing a big bash in my honour these days. It's one of those things where I just feel awkward when I get the attention of the entire room. What do you do with it?
I sort of saw it coming, but coming into this program, I don't think I'll be able to run any marathons this year. It sort of kills me to even come to that decision, but due to the full time nature of training for one and the amount of assignments coming in from school, I think it would be best if I put it on hold until the dust settles for a bit. Still hoping I'll be able to hit my goal for the 10K this year, but we'll see what happens I guess.
2014 was a strange duck of a year for me. I say that because I'm not sure whether or not I categorize it as either a good or a great year. It was a horrible year for the family as we lost our grandpa earlier, and with Christmas Day less than 24 hours away, it's going to be different. It was different when I lost my other grandpa a couple years back as well. On the other hand, I had an amazing summer and it's looking like the year will end on a bit of a high note. But it would be impudent to consider this year a good year after what happened earlier. Maybe categorizing how a year went is too antiquated of an approach now. It's too unrealistic to expect a year to be perfect, and maybe that's the problem.
The things I think about at 3 in the morning on Christmas Eve.
It's been a couple days since finals ended, and in essence, the end of my first term at BCIT. I knew going into this term that BCIT had a reputation for pushing their students to their mental limits, and after going through the meat grinder myself, I guess the stories were true. After 5 exams in one week – two the week before – I think this semester has killed all my drive and excitement over school that I once expressed a few months earlier. I think it's safe to say, after I graduate this is it for my academic career.
Wanted to decompress after the term ended. I've been up since 9AM today, decided to engage in activities that wouldn't really use my brain a whole lot. It's almost 5PM and I don't think I've checked my phone at all. Aside from this I've been pretty disconnected from everything today. Fuck.
Haven't had a lot of time to do this for a while now. Life's gotten a little crazy, but the fact that I'm still here means something I guess.
Music and running have been keeping me sane these days, and thank God for that. However, I'm not quite sure if I'll be ready for the marathon in May, and with my school schedule next semester looking disgusting, I think I might be taking a break from dragonboating, and who knows when I'll come back. There's so much uncertainty next year, and I'm guessing this chaos won't end for a while. But that's OK. I'm not a fan of stability anyways.