News for November 2009

The Sound

Jamming at 4 in the morning, not caring what comes out or how out of it I am. That paper I was supposed to do, it can wait.

When the six string has been laid down for the night, these two broken speakers in front of me increase in mileage after every song. My sub-woofer is broken and I am poor. But that’s OK, at least I have my tunes.

Is there anything more beautiful? Now for bed.

He’ll understand when he’s older


Posted: November 26th, 2009
Categories: Entertainment
Tags: , , , , ,
Comments: 1 Comment.

Now What

I’ve got what amounts to around 5000 words spanning two papers to be typed and submitted to various instructors this week. I currently have 141 words written down and the clock has just struck midnight. Why I am diverting so much time and energy to napping long hours and blogging about nothing is beyond me. Maybe this is just a big screw you to school for trying throttle my fun. Leave Matt alone!

Apologies beforehand for the  lack of clarity of this post. It’s a public blog – hence the subtlety – but to me there is no other outlet for which I can express this.

It’s kind of funny. Looking back, I complained about how things weren’t happening, that the whole thing has stalled on me. The chase wasn’t over, but I had doubts that I was ever going to catch up to what I really wanted. I still hate the chase so much… but I guess all the emotions and feelings we experience during this  is what makes us feel alive and human. I’ve felt happy, sad and confused. I can honestly say, I’ve felt more alive these last few months than I’ve ever felt for the past 3 years… which was the last time I went through this again.

I can’t help but wonder whether I need to do something more now. I’ve been so caught up in this dream that I’ve lost focus. Maybe I shouldn’t be breaking down this whole thing into a process, maybe that’s why I never have any luck in this. What do I do now? I don’t want to lose any of this, I don’t want to lose what I want. That’s what scares me.

I hope in the end everything works out.

Posted: November 23rd, 2009
Categories: Life
Tags: ,
Comments: 2 Comments.

Young for Eternity

Two things:

1) I’ve been hankering for a new watch for a while now.
2) I’ve always wanted a Mickey Mouse Watch.

Voila. Expensive, but I would like.


More from High Snobiety.

Posted: November 19th, 2009
Categories: Fashion and Art
Tags: ,
Comments: 2 Comments.

A Shoot Out

Instead of taking the bus home after school I took a detour to Long and McQuade to try out two guitars I’ve been looking at, the Gibson J45 and the Martin HD28. Initial play tests have come up inconclusive: I can’t decide. Both sound amazing. However, I had my heart set out for the J45 – because the dude from The Fray looked so rad rocking it – but after trying out the Martin I had a feeling that perhaps that might bring me more joy over the J45. The reason was that once I picked up that bad boy there was an instant spark. I started jamming away, not caring who was listening to my poorly played versions of Jack Johnson songs in the store. It took me a second crack at the J45 to really get into it.

But I don’t know, maybe it’ll come down to which looks cooler.

The Martin HD28

Posted: November 17th, 2009
Categories: Music, Randomness
Tags: ,
Comments: No Comments.

Love of the Loveless

I’ve been having these horrible nights lately where I sleep 3 hours tops and can never get back to sleep. Think going to bed at 10:30 PM or midnight and waking up at 1 or 3 and being up for the rest of the night. When the sun comes up, I finally have that urge to hit the sack, only to realize it’s 7:30 AM and I’m supposed to wake up for school. I’ve heard of being a night owl, but this is ridiculous.

I talked about how my mood comes in cycles. Because of this really messed up way I’ve been living, I’ve been so cranky and grumpy that I feel bad for the people around me. I’m thinking this 3 week bliss is starting to finally fade. It’s amazing what one small thing can do to make you so happy, but on the flip side one small thing can totally wreck you for days on end. I’ve always been the kind of guy that over-analyzes things. Little things. Things that shouldn’t mean anything, but for some reason in my mind I deconstruct it to even smaller pieces and wonder what it all means and make a big deal about it. Maybe it’s because it’s what I do during the day at school. I disseminate information and find parallels to something else, whether those comparisons are valid or not. Maybe it’s just unfortunate that it happens to carry on into my personal life. I should turn my brain off for a second and just look at things as they are. Unadulterated.

I really hoped that this feeling of joy would continue on for a long time. Maybe it will and this is just a hitch. But I guess we’ll see.

Shine on the love.

Posted: November 16th, 2009
Categories: Life
Tags: , , ,
Comments: No Comments.

October Nights

I don’t really know if this is considered a ‘late night blurb’ when I’m writing this at 6 in the morning.

Things are going well. It’s going slow but steady and I’ve been feeling happy these last few weeks – which is apparent. I don’t think I’ve felt this way since… I don’t remember.

But there’s this element of dread around the corner, like it’s going to end real soon.

I’m not going to be back in school next semester, I’ll be out experiencing what’s it’s like having a  life like the average Joe for four months – maybe more – when I’m done with school. It’s scary because the reason why I’ve been feeling this way has been the time afforded me by being at school to do things I should have done years ago. No matter how things go at school – I don’t even know what’s going on in any of my classes – this has been some amazing months for me, and I fear that it will end in the new year. That’s real soon. I hate that idea, but I pray that whatever is going on now will last a long long time.

A little confusing? It should be. I need to wake up in an hour. Ring ring ring.

Posted: November 12th, 2009
Categories: Late Night Blurbs, School
Tags: ,
Comments: 5 Comments.

How to infuriate someone


Posted: November 5th, 2009
Categories: Randomness
Tags: , ,
Comments: 1 Comment.

I wish the sun would hide some more

Another late night spent doing nothing but jamming away. I feel as if I’m more alive during the night than I am during the day. Maybe it’s because the static is gone and all there is is just silence. The kind of silence that makes you think about things that… keep you up all night. I enjoy that – sometimes. But for tonight, I like it. A night like this, I enjoy being alone with this cheap guitar my Mom got me when I was 16, I enjoy thinking about things that separate me from the reality of it all. I enjoy the company of music and the escapism it provides. I like droning away, kind of like what I’m doing now where when I wake up and read this over again, it won’t make any sense. But I guess it kind of captures the moment right now. I guess that’s why I’m doing this.

In 15 minutes Mom will be wondering why I’m still up when I’ve got school in the morning. I guess that’s my cue.

Posted: November 5th, 2009
Categories: Late Night Blurbs
Tags: , ,
Comments: No Comments.

A High

I’m at a high right now. Cautious, but still feeling groovy. I just hope it doesn’t end in a crash when that day comes.

Oh wow look, it’s November already. Better get a move on.

Yellowcard – October Nights

Posted: November 1st, 2009
Categories: Life, Randomness
Tags: ,
Comments: No Comments.