I’m feeling unusually reckless these days. It feels like the teenage ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude I experienced eons ago, but the feeling exists during adulthood and unlike then, I not only acknowledge but embrace whatever unfavorable outcome comes my way. Oh yes, I really don’t give a fuck and I guess this post is a product of that.
Adulthood, where your missteps are amplified tenfold.
I’m starting my internship tomorrow afternoon, and I’m excited about the opportunity to at least gain some meaningful experience and hopefully get an opportunity to continue on with the organization I’m doing it with. It seems genuine, challenging and may potentially put me in a good position afterwards. The only problem? It’s not a job, which is kind of what I saw myself occupying post-graduation years ago when I first started university. I know I’m not the only person in this predicament, and I’ve come across people that have been out of work for over a year – in some cases still looking – so those people don’t give two shits about what’s been going on with me. Still, when you’ve got an education that while personally and intellectually fulfilling, doesn’t seem to immediately open up doors for you career-wise, you wonder whether you’ve hit some sort of quarter life crisis.
Then there’s the whole female thing.
I consider myself longing, but not desperate so please let’s get that straight. Desperate would imply that I want to be in a relationship now and would resort to extremely unruly tactics to end my current status. I don’t think a relationship is an absolute priority at this point, but as the failures build up, it can be demoralizing. It can dawn on you that the longer this goes on, the harder it will be trying to go forward with this.
It’s 2 AM and I guess I’m just depressed as hell right now.
I felt kind of guilty downloading the leaked album of Noel Gallagher’s upcoming solo album. But after listening to it a couple of times, that feeling quickly dissipated as I realized that I will be buying it when it comes out. It’s absolutely brilliant, and I think this song is one of its best. See music industry, downloading music can be good...
In other news, my Vancouver Canucks are coming out real slow out of the gate, which is not good news for this particular fan who wears the big beautiful whale proudly on his chest. Come on boys, pick it up!
So this is it, degree papers and all framed and displayed. Now what? Needless to say, I’m a little underwhelmed now after working my ass off for six years. Career wise, I’m worried but not too worried… I think I have time – kind of – but at the same time I’m optimistic things will work out, in some way or another.
I am convinced that Tumblr and Twitter have all but killed what is left of casual ‘blogging,’ blogging in the sense that authors generate a mass number of words and paragraphs to fuel their content as opposed to simply ‘reblogging’ or limiting their voice to within 140 characters. Colour me nostalgic, but I prefer the old days where the platform was neither parred down or simply replaced with content found elsewhere. Remember Xanga? We can all laugh at the nonsense that was published on there when we were younger, but at the very least there existed transparency in terms of people’s thoughts and insights. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love Twitter, and from time to time I find myself enjoying Tumblr. But as ‘old school’ as I try to project myself as, I am not immune to the allure of social media. My posts have been simplified and yes, even the odd video and image is what constitutes a blog post for me these days. Either I’m getting caught up with the direction of what seems to be the norm out there, or I just have ADD.
I’m starting to believe that you’re not enjoying this as much as I am. Please don’t hint that you’re capable of lies… stop it if that’s how you feel.
We are always reminded of who our friends are, but I believe life reminds us from time to time of who among them will be there no matter what. Upon reflection, I believe I am spoiled with the abundance of friends that I can count on to support me.
Broads… ‘we can’t live with ’em, but we can’t live without ’em.’
When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.