After a frenzied 4 day Christmas long weekend, I spent the last 24 hours of it trying to catch my breath, most of it by myself. Not such a bad thing when you consider I’ve been out of the house for much of these last few days, so dedicating a day to being a loner was a very attractive plan today. One of the things I wanted to do was catch up on my running, which I haven’t done nearly as much as I wanted to since September.
It’s not very often I get to spend a great deal of time outdoors running these days. Work gets in the way of scheduling a run at a decent hour after work, and with the way things are going, I feel way too drained coming home to even mount a serious session like I used to. I’m not enjoying what I’m doing, and I’ve been feeling this way for a while now. I tell myself it’s a start, but it’s hard to stay grounded when several of my classmates seemed to have fast tracked their way into where I want to be career wise. I’ve been trying to find a new job for a while, and I’ve had a few interviews but nothing so far has stuck. I hope I find something.
I haven’t really been feeling myself lately. Again, maybe it’s the job thing (it’s an easy excuse to make), but I haven’t really been doing the same things I used to before I left my last job and went back to school. My running has suffered and so have my other hobbies. It just doesn’t feel the same.
But maybe my approach hasn’t been the best. Maybe I need to just suck it up for a bit longer and then see what’s out there. I know I’m not long for the job I’m doing any ways, so might as well make the best of it while I’m there, get some exposure to new things and gain some references while I’m at it. Don’t worry about everyone else. Spend my energy elsewhere, like trying to be a better dude. I know I’ve got work to do. I’m not the person that I want to be, but I feel like I’m getting there, and at my age I guess that’s a victory worth celebrating. I guess this is what they meant by fighting it out when you’re in your 20s.
I ran for a little over 2 hours late this evening. It’s amazing how much you can figure out about your life during that time.