News for April 2017


I haven’t been writing much lately. I’ve got a couple of drafts that show I’ve tried starting something, but ultimately they never do leave the draft box. Part of that reason is because it’s become harder to express myself through writing now, and it may have been due to the fact that I just haven’t been writing enough as an exercise to maintain that flow I once had. But also, I’ve discovered other interesting mediums to express myself, such as photography and expanding my musical ambitions. I’ve also come to have a better grasp of myself emotionally, which was one of the main reasons why I blogged as often as I did. I didn’t have much of an outlet for what I was feeling, and these past few years I’ve been able to get a better handle of the kind of person I am, and knowing how to better harness my emotions. When you get older, some things get easier I suppose.

But getting older is something I’ve been trying to come to grips with lately. I turned 30 not too long ago. Age never really bothered me these past few years. I still felt youthful, and in a way I still do, but I stop to look around, things feel vastly different than years past. It feels as if the world is moving without me, that this new post-millennial generation has begun taking over this struggle I – and others in my age – once had. I feel overlooked at times due to my age. My fear is finding out that my identity was tied to my youth. For some time, I yearned for the days where the need to ‘fight it out’ would come to an end, but when I grow old, if the fight is over, what is left?

However, the one thing I can appreciate about being old is the fact that I am much more certain as a person. In many ways, I’ve become bolder, more sure of my actions and beliefs, and despite my struggle to accept the fact that aging is inevitable, there is a strange sense of optimism that continues to guide me. That’s the one thing I can appreciate over my earlier years. Maybe a new struggle is on the horizon, and as depressing as that sounds, the fighter in me is eager to get started.

Posted: April 25th, 2017
Categories: Life
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