Something’s still missing

It’s 12 in the morning right now and while I could use some sleep, I don’t think I’ll be doing any of that for a bit. It’s a familiar thing for me, being on here – on whatever platform. Remember Xanga? Shit – laying out a big fat brain dump through words, something that I’ve done so many times since high school. It’s familiar I guess, and it’s one of the few things I’ve always known how to do when something’s up.

Came back from my trip to Toronto last night. Took some photos, bonded with friends and experienced a city I only knew faintly from a family trip years ago. I had a great time, yet for some reason this recent escapism seems to have only mildly accomplished what I had hoped something like that would do for me, and that was calm the thoughts and anxiety I had about life back home. I only arrived at 11:40PM last night and almost 6 hours later I had to wake up for work again, so maybe the sudden nature of the demands of the real world is preventing me from properly meditating on the past week.

I guess I’m thinking about things too much again, which I figure is a knack I’ll have that will burden me for the rest of my life. Is this a good plan for the next couple of years? Am I ready to be in a relationship? And if I’m not, then what the hell am I doing wasting my time? Am I focusing too much on me and not enough on my career? There’s so many questions out there that make it difficult to live in the moment sometimes.

Posted: September 3rd, 2013
Categories: Late Night Blurbs, Life
Tags: ,
Comments: 2 Comments.
Comment from c - September 9, 2013 at 10:59 PM

I’ve questioned the whole living in the moment thing plenty. And no matter how many times I say to myself to enjoy life in the present and just spend money to enjoy the things I want… Its too hard to not worry about the future… I don’t want to live on the streets 🙁

If you figure it out before me … Share! But I don’t think these things ever have an answer …

Comment from Matt - September 10, 2013 at 8:55 PM

Give it a couple of years, we might know then.