It’s my birthday today – or was, as I am currently typing this almost 3 hours past midnight, and goodness knows when this will be posted today – and looking at all the MSN and text messages and Facebook wall posts, I was happy. When you see your entire Facebook wall spammed with well wishes for yourself it reaffirms your life in a way. That you’re not some loser wasting space on this planet, that in some way you matter, whether it be a small or big deal to that person, you were still worth something to that many people. So thanks to all of you for that, I really mean it. It sounds like a loser talking but look, there are some things we wonder in life if our existence has a purpose, if it mattered in some way. I guess today I found that out.
I haven’t really dwelled on the number that much, probably because I still think I’m 21. I feel 21 yet legally I’m 22. People like to contrast their current age with a milestone number like 20, 25 or 30 and start worrying about how fast their lives have gone. But unlike previous years I’m not really fretting about actually moving up the ladder this time. When I would reflect on that, I’d get anxious and life would seem as if it were moving too fast, that I was wasting my opportunities. Whenever I would look back at 19 or 20, I could never remember anything memorable about it. Sometimes I felt that when I was 21, but when I look back I actually remember the things I did at that age. Even though I wasted half of it on playing World of Warcraft – I will never play that game again – it was still a memorable period of my life. There were some negatives, but looking at the positives it wasn’t too shabby. It’s weird saying that because it’s the opposite of what I said a month ago.
I don’t know if I’ll feel like this when I hit 23 – wow! – but alls I know is that when I think about it, 22 just doesn’t seem that old to me anymore. I’m still hippin’ and hoppin’.
Besides, my 25+ year old friends will laugh out of their minds when they hear a early 20s something kid complain about his age.
I bought this poster today:
You can get more info from OMG Posters!
I’ve always balked at buying posters because I never know where to put them, whether they’d fit with the room I want to put it in and all these other micro details. But for some reason I felt compelled to get this. Maybe it just reminds me that we’re all vulnerable, that the feeling is universal. We’re all weak, and that’s what makes us human. And I prefer to be a man than an ant.