Love of the Loveless

I’ve been having these horrible nights lately where I sleep 3 hours tops and can never get back to sleep. Think going to bed at 10:30 PM or midnight and waking up at 1 or 3 and being up for the rest of the night. When the sun comes up, I finally have that urge to hit the sack, only to realize it’s 7:30 AM and I’m supposed to wake up for school. I’ve heard of being a night owl, but this is ridiculous.

I talked about how my mood comes in cycles. Because of this really messed up way I’ve been living, I’ve been so cranky and grumpy that I feel bad for the people around me. I’m thinking this 3 week bliss is starting to finally fade. It’s amazing what one small thing can do to make you so happy, but on the flip side one small thing can totally wreck you for days on end. I’ve always been the kind of guy that over-analyzes things. Little things. Things that shouldn’t mean anything, but for some reason in my mind I deconstruct it to even smaller pieces and wonder what it all means and make a big deal about it. Maybe it’s because it’s what I do during the day at school. I disseminate information and find parallels to something else, whether those comparisons are valid or not. Maybe it’s just unfortunate that it happens to carry on into my personal life. I should turn my brain off for a second and just look at things as they are. Unadulterated.

I really hoped that this feeling of joy would continue on for a long time. Maybe it will and this is just a hitch. But I guess we’ll see.

Shine on the love.

Posted: November 16th, 2009
Categories: Life
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