So this is the new year…

After a night of total debauchery, suffering through shitty Bacardi shots and warm beer, it appears I’ve made it relatively unscathed into the new year. Apologies all around for the incoherence I’m displaying right now, alcohol and a lack of sleep can sometimes prevent the normalization of brain cells from functioning.

When the discussion becomes nostalgic around this past year, someone I know will always note of something pleasant. New friends, that new someone, new job, that sort of crap. I don’t know if I could equate any of that with the same experiences I went through this past year. No major breakthroughs, just a whole ‘lotta shit.

Our family has experienced a tragedy this year involving the passing of my Grandpa. It’s hit my Dad and his side of the family a lot harder than anyone else here and the week after we found out was probably one of the worst times of our lives. People were distressed, no one had energy to do anything and no one knew what to do. It was a fucking mess. I guess this is just part of growing up, seeing people we’re use to seeing – people we thought would be around forever – leave us. I can’t believe Grandpa’s gone. A part of me is still saying if I were to roll up to the home he was living in we’d see him there. It fucking sucks.

I never wrote about this when it happened. I didn’t have it in me – despite the desire – to talk about it through here. I felt like crap for not giving off some kind of final send-off for him through the medium that I adore, so consider this my official tribute. I wish I knew him better before he left, but hopefully he’s looking down and saying “fuck it, we’ll get to that later.”

I hope there is some good coming my way and to the people I love this year. I hope to God that there will be. This past year has been absolute shit, nothing went right and when things did go right it was under a dark cloud that wouldn’t go away. So fuck 2008, I’m looking forward to this 2009 shit.

…and I don’t feel any different.

Posted: January 1st, 2009
Categories: Life
Tags: , , , , , ,
Comments: 3 Comments.
Comment from Sam - January 1, 2009 at 11:06 PM

I didn’t think about how shitty 2008 had been until you mentioned it here. I think it was starting to begin to turn for the better near the end of the year though so let’s hope that the better luck will continue on into 2009 for all of us. 🙂

P.S. Happy New Year Matty!

Comment from Tiff - January 11, 2009 at 8:45 PM

Dude, you’ve made me realize what a shit whole the 2008 year really was.
I entirely know how you feel and what your family is going through. In many ways, till this VERY day I even think, He’s gotta still be here, he’s hiding some where. Cliche as it maybe he is still here in every way.

Whats done is done my friend. Nothings going right?! Than you make it. haha, thats how i got some of the things in my life to work out. Not in a way that i expected it to be but shit life isn’t perfect.

Wells, its a little late for happy new year…fuck it, HAPPY NEW YEAR MATT.

Pingback from | Matt’s Blog. - February 6, 2009 at 4:16 PM

[…] I haven’t really dwelled on the number that much, probably because I still think I’m 21. I feel 21 yet legally I’m 22. People like to contrast their current age with a milestone number like 20, 25 or 30 and start worrying about how fast their lives have gone. But unlike previous years I’m not really fretting about actually moving up the ladder this time. When I would reflect on that, I’d get anxious and life would seem as if it were moving too fast, that I was wasting my opportunities. Whenever I would look back at 19 or 20, I could never remember anything memorable about it. Sometimes I felt that when I was 21, but when I look back I actually remember the things I did at that age. Even though I wasted half of it on playing World of Warcraft – I will never play that game again – it was still a memorable period of my life. There were some negatives, but looking at the positives it wasn’t too shabby. It’s weird saying that because it’s the opposite of what I said a month ago. […]