11.58 Miles

After a frenzied 4 day Christmas long weekend, I spent the last 24 hours of it trying to catch my breath, most of it by myself. Not such a bad thing when you consider I’ve been out of the house for much of these last few days, so dedicating a day to being a loner was a very attractive plan today. One of the things I wanted to do was catch up on my running, which I haven’t done nearly as much as I wanted to since September.

It’s not very often I get to spend a great deal of time outdoors running these days. Work gets in the way of scheduling a run at a decent hour after work, and with the way things are going, I feel way too drained coming home to even mount a serious session like I used to. I’m not enjoying what I’m doing, and I’ve been feeling this way for a while now. I tell myself it’s a start, but it’s hard to stay grounded when several of my classmates seemed to have fast tracked their way into where I want to be career wise. I’ve been trying to find a new job for a while, and I’ve had a few interviews but nothing so far has stuck. I hope I find something.

I haven’t really been feeling myself lately. Again, maybe it’s the job thing (it’s an easy excuse to make), but I haven’t really been doing the same things I used to before I left my last job and went back to school. My running has suffered and so have my other hobbies. It just doesn’t feel the same.

But maybe my approach hasn’t been the best. Maybe I need to just suck it up for a bit longer and then see what’s out there. I know I’m not long for the job I’m doing any ways, so might as well make the best of it while I’m there, get some exposure to new things and gain some references while I’m at it. Don’t worry about everyone else. Spend my energy elsewhere, like trying to be a better dude. I know I’ve got work to do. I’m not the person that I want to be, but I feel like I’m getting there, and at my age I guess that’s a victory worth celebrating. I guess this is what they meant by fighting it out when you’re in your 20s.

I ran for a little over 2 hours late this evening. It’s amazing how much you can figure out about your life during that time.

Posted: December 28th, 2015
Categories: Randomness
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No words needed

Posted: November 23rd, 2015
Categories: Music
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Something’s missing

I haven't been feeling like myself these days. Maybe it's the weather, or the Blue Jays playing like dog crap today, but I'm trying to recapture the person that I was earlier this year. I just don't know how. I feel like I'm worrying too much again. Worrying about my career and where it's going and what will become of it down the road. Granted it's only been a month since I started working at my current gig, but there's an uneasiness to all this. Maybe it's because my expectations are so high and that all the sacrifices I've made to get to this point won't amount to anything. I've got a lot of insecurities that I need to keep under wraps, but for now I just need to pray about it and keep moving.

Posted: October 16th, 2015
Categories: Life
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It’s been a long time coming

As a Blue Jays fan of 10 odd years, I never thought I'd ever see this. And with the post season upon us, let me just say: fuck Texas.

Posted: October 4th, 2015
Categories: Current Events
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From here…

The first week on the job is coming to a close, and so far I'm not as excited nor relaxed as I thought I would be when you land your first job out of school. Maybe it's because this is my second 'first job' out of school and the excitement is gone. Despite the elusiveness that comes with landing on one's own feet, I haven't felt very content. Maybe I expect too much. Maybe I'm taking things for granted again. After all this is supposed to be my foot in the door, and not everyone gets a home run on their first job in their careers. But I don't know. Maybe this is something I should continue to pray for and let the higher powers that be take care of.

Posted: September 10th, 2015
Categories: Late Night Blurbs, Life
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They’re all bold as love

Solo John Mayer with just his Strat is beyond glorious.

Posted: September 3rd, 2015
Categories: Music, Randomness
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Mt. Seymour

I went up to Mt. Seymour at 4 in the morning with Ags and some friends to catch the sunrise this past weekend. It’s been an up and down sort of month for me, but being in the middle of nowhere while seeing life just unfold in front of us re-energized me in a way that I haven’t experience in some time. I woke up today feeling inspired and hopeful with some sense of clarity heading into the week.

Posted: August 24th, 2015
Categories: Life
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That 1000 yard stare

Things aren't really going my way right now, and I'm not sure what else I need to do other than endure before things start to finally work out. I don't know whether I'm being impatient or unrealistic, but I just want something to happen. What do I have to do?

Posted: August 17th, 2015
Categories: Life
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New Blog

Agnes and I started up a new Tumblr blog where we write about all the gross couples things we do together. It's called Mung Mungy, and if you're into reading that sort of stuff then you might like it. So, yeah. Go now.

Posted: July 28th, 2015
Categories: Entertainment, Randomness
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Some random musings:

  • I hope this doesn't become a common theme for future posts, but I get restless whenever I find myself unemployed. Granted it's only been a month since I graduated, I remember all too fondly what I went through after coming out of university. Some of my friends have insisted that I should treat this as being 'fun-employed' and I guess, when you're in your early-mid 20s it's not such a bad thing. But at this point in my life, I just want to get on with it.
  • Speaking of common themes, I hope I don't format my posts like this in point form again. Unfortunately, these days there's more quantity than quality when it comes to introspective talking points.
  • On the other hand, I've been pretty constructive with my time off. Spent some time getting back into my normal running schedule again, playing more music – which was an important goal for me post-grad – and started reading more recreationally. I figure if I'm going to have an entire day to myself for long stretches, I might as well use that time to keep the body and mind fresh.
  • I was at the wedding the other day, and the plus one was one of the bridesmaids for her best friend. Walking down that isle, it reminded me again of how lucky I was and just how insanely crazy this year has been. We all need moments like these to reaffirm how blessed we are in life sometimes, and that it really is out of our control. 
  • Hope.
Posted: July 15th, 2015
Categories: Life, Randomness
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