Posts Tagged ‘career’

When you’ll hang your things and stay

It’s been a little over a month since I started my new job. A little crazy at first, but I think things are starting to settle down now, which is nice because it feels like I’m always on my feet and never really taking a break at all. And I’m not complaining. It’s what I wanted from what I consider to be an ideal job. I’m still looking for challenges in my life and not really ready to be comfortable just yet. But at the same time, I feel like I can stop flooring the gas pedal for a bit. Not exactly coast, but kind of just focus my energies on other things besides trying to fight it out. I think I got that out of my system, now it’s just time for me to shift gears and try to be better as a person. I’m just glad that I don’t have to worry about my career for a little while.

I guess this is my long winded way of saying, that I feel like I’m in a good place in my life again. Things seem to be working out. And if you asked me a year or two ago whether I would feel this way again, I wouldn’t have believed you. But here we are.

Posted: March 30th, 2016
Categories: Life
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Something’s missing

I haven't been feeling like myself these days. Maybe it's the weather, or the Blue Jays playing like dog crap today, but I'm trying to recapture the person that I was earlier this year. I just don't know how. I feel like I'm worrying too much again. Worrying about my career and where it's going and what will become of it down the road. Granted it's only been a month since I started working at my current gig, but there's an uneasiness to all this. Maybe it's because my expectations are so high and that all the sacrifices I've made to get to this point won't amount to anything. I've got a lot of insecurities that I need to keep under wraps, but for now I just need to pray about it and keep moving.

Posted: October 16th, 2015
Categories: Life
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From here…

The first week on the job is coming to a close, and so far I'm not as excited nor relaxed as I thought I would be when you land your first job out of school. Maybe it's because this is my second 'first job' out of school and the excitement is gone. Despite the elusiveness that comes with landing on one's own feet, I haven't felt very content. Maybe I expect too much. Maybe I'm taking things for granted again. After all this is supposed to be my foot in the door, and not everyone gets a home run on their first job in their careers. But I don't know. Maybe this is something I should continue to pray for and let the higher powers that be take care of.

Posted: September 10th, 2015
Categories: Late Night Blurbs, Life
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One last time under ‘School’

It's been almost two weeks since my last exam from school, with my professional designation exam coming up in a couple of days that I feel extremely ill-prepared for right now. After that begins the job search, which if past experience is of any indication, should be plenty of fun. I feel like I'm entering yet another phase of my life that I can't really seem to figure out how it will go from here on out. I don't know if life's supposed to be like this, weaving in and out of what's comfortable with the kind of life events that seem to shake the very foundation of what was familiar to me.

A few years ago I would have embraced any sort of chaos being introduced in my life. I wanted to feel as if I was continuously getting better both as a person and in whatever professional endeavours I wanted to pursue, and believing that living while scraping by for that dream you had was part of the hustle. 

I don't feel that way anymore. It never occurred to me until recently how much I want things to settle down. I don't want to feel as if I'm fighting through life anymore. For once, I want to know that I'm on the right path this time.

It'll be a bittersweet moment when I walk across that stage in two weeks. I'll be saying farewell to people that I've shed blood and tears with during many long nights, but it's onwards to seeking that home life I never knew I wanted.

Posted: June 2nd, 2015
Categories: Life, School
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I got asked this over the weekend

"Why are you doing this to yourself?"

This was in reference to my schedule these days, which has been dominated by mostly school work. I hadn't been out of the house very much since January. I haven't seen my friends very often since the semester started, my time was mostly thinking about school 50% of the time, working 25% and whatever was left was spent training for the marathon and dragonboat practices. It was 2 AM in the morning while I was studying for a final that I realized that these past 3 months I haven't been living like a normal human being. I wanted to pull a Dave Chappelle.

I didn't know what to say to him at the time. I guess when it comes to ambition, there's a level of psychosis and sacrifice involved that sometimes we don't understand.

'cause I wonder sometimes of a still verdictless life.

Posted: March 24th, 2014
Categories: Life, School
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Why am I up

It’s past 1 AM right now and I’m supposed to be waking up in about 5 hours to start my new job, which feels so damn good after almost a year of being a part of shitty internships and sketchy business start-ups. The fact that I’m actually going to be working within a structured business environment where I’m going to get paid on a regular basis is something I still can’t really fathom at this point. I knew that things were going to be hard after graduation, but I didn’t expect things to be this rough nor this depressing. I think a lot of people – including me – thought getting some sort of degree would open up worlds for us a lot more easily than people who didn’t have one. Obviously that’s not really the case anymore, and I don’t think my parents really understood that, which made things even more frustrating for me.

I’m also happy because now I don’t feel like a fucking loser anymore whenever people ask me what I’ve been up to. Trust me, it’s awesome telling people all you did at home was watch TV and sleep.

One thing I will miss is volunteering at the music academy, where I taught guitar and just hung out with the kids for almost a year. Being there was like a break from life and all the crap that I’ve had to endure since graduation. When I was there I didn’t have to deal with a psychotic ex-boss or worry about my job search, it was all about the kids and trying to make a difference. The place kept me sane, and in some respects kept me going. I will forever be grateful for the kids and the people there, and I hope they continue to do great things over there. It’s an amazing place and it’s making me sad thinking about not being there anymore. I wish I found out about that place earlier when I was still in school.

And with that, my year long vacation has come to an end. Time to make some cheese.

Posted: July 9th, 2012
Categories: Life
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