Posts Tagged ‘emo’

Living in the grey

It’s a terrible feeling knowing that in the end, your feelings meant nothing at all.

What a waste. I need to start trusting my friends more.

Posted: March 11th, 2014
Categories: Late Night Blurbs, Life
Tags: ,
Comments: No Comments.

The fight for you is all I’ve ever known

Warning: This is going to be one of those spill-your-guts posts, so click away if it’s not your thing. And if it hasn’t been changed yet, change the background colour to something other than white. I’ve activated the snow again this year. It looks cooler against a black background.

I had this big, elaborate and pretentious post lined up for tonight. But after hitting backspace a million times, I’ve given up. It’s a hopeless endeavor to put an eloquent spin on what you’re trying to say, especially at 2 in the morning.

Prepare for a dubbed down version of Matt’s life thus far.

This semester was different than a lot of the other ones I’ve had. I was inspired, changed and I gained a new perspective on the things I have believed for most of my life. Music has totally overrun my life. I want to make an impact around me. God is back in focus. I’m actually bummed about not going to school in January – wha?  I felt that I’ve accomplished a lot from a personal perspective. Not bad, considering that I wasn’t even expecting to be in school this fall.

This semester was also one where I felt something that I had never felt in a long time. If you’ve been following me for the past few weeks, you probably figured out what that was.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth the effort. Things were going so well in the beginning, but now it feels as if it’s cooled down. Maybe it’s because my expectations have gone up, maybe I’m expecting too much and trying to make things go too fast. They tell me I over-think things. This is probably one of those cases, but my consciousness says otherwise. I’ve been proven wrong before, but I always come out of it thinking I’m still right and you are all wrong.

My biggest fear right now: this is all for naught, and the things I’ve been doing would be just some big waste of time. It’s hard for me to move on, because of how much I invest into things emotionally. Like how that song from OneRepublic goes, the fight for you is all I’ve ever known.

So I don’t know what to do anymore, save for this one thing I’ve been planning for the last month and a half. If it works, I owe certain people a life-times worth of coffee and pizza. If it doesn’t, then at least I’ll have a story to tell.

Posted: December 17th, 2009
Categories: Life
Tags: , , ,
Comments: 1 Comment.