Posts Tagged ‘graduation’

One last time under ‘School’

It's been almost two weeks since my last exam from school, with my professional designation exam coming up in a couple of days that I feel extremely ill-prepared for right now. After that begins the job search, which if past experience is of any indication, should be plenty of fun. I feel like I'm entering yet another phase of my life that I can't really seem to figure out how it will go from here on out. I don't know if life's supposed to be like this, weaving in and out of what's comfortable with the kind of life events that seem to shake the very foundation of what was familiar to me.

A few years ago I would have embraced any sort of chaos being introduced in my life. I wanted to feel as if I was continuously getting better both as a person and in whatever professional endeavours I wanted to pursue, and believing that living while scraping by for that dream you had was part of the hustle. 

I don't feel that way anymore. It never occurred to me until recently how much I want things to settle down. I don't want to feel as if I'm fighting through life anymore. For once, I want to know that I'm on the right path this time.

It'll be a bittersweet moment when I walk across that stage in two weeks. I'll be saying farewell to people that I've shed blood and tears with during many long nights, but it's onwards to seeking that home life I never knew I wanted.

Posted: June 2nd, 2015
Categories: Life, School
Tags: , , ,
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It all comes down to this

  • So this is it, degree papers and all framed and displayed. Now what? Needless to say, I’m a little underwhelmed now after working my ass off for six years. Career wise, I’m worried but not too worried… I think I have time – kind of – but at the same time I’m optimistic things will work out, in some way or another.
  • I am convinced that Tumblr and Twitter have all but killed what is left of casual ‘blogging,’ blogging in the sense that authors generate a mass number of words and paragraphs to fuel their content as opposed to simply ‘reblogging’ or limiting their voice to within 140 characters. Colour me nostalgic, but I prefer the old days where the platform was neither parred down or simply replaced with content found elsewhere. Remember Xanga? We can all laugh at the nonsense that was published on there when we were younger, but at the very least there existed transparency in terms of people’s thoughts and insights. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love Twitter, and from time to time I find myself enjoying Tumblr. But as ‘old school’ as I try to project myself as, I am not immune to the allure of social media. My posts have been simplified and yes, even the odd video and image is what constitutes a blog post for me these days. Either I’m getting caught up with the direction of what seems to be the norm out there, or I just have ADD.
  • I’m starting to believe that you’re not enjoying this as much as I am. Please don’t hint that you’re capable of lies… stop it if that’s how you feel.
  • We are always reminded of who our friends are, but I believe life reminds us from time to time of who among them will be there no matter what. Upon reflection, I believe I am spoiled with the abundance of friends that I can count on to support me.
  • Broads… ‘we can’t live with ’em, but we can’t live without ’em.’
Posted: October 6th, 2011
Categories: Life, School
Tags: , , , ,
Comments: 2 Comments.

Late Nights

  • The most unfortunate thing about not being able to sleep is the loneliness that comes with being the only person still up at 3 in the morning.
  • Disappointed that I didn’t do quite as well as I had hoped in my stats class this summer. That was the class that I wanted to really focus in on this semester.
  • It feels a little weird knowing that it’s September and everyone’s in school except for me. Just give me my degree papers already.
  • I’m disappointed in the outcome, but besides the delivery of how I did it there were no regrets in expressing how I felt. I knew it had to be done soon or I risk letting my feelings simmer. It’s far worst to continually invest in someone emotionally over a long period of time without any closure than being told it’s not going to happen.
  • Having said that, it sucks. I think what’s bugging me about this is how much it hurts me more while it seems as if she’s still going about her life unaffected by this.
  • Give me a few days, I’ll be fine.
  • Sorry for such a downer of a blog post. It doesn’t happen often.
  • The Gaslight Anthem – Here’s Lookin’ At You, Kid
Posted: September 9th, 2011
Categories: Late Night Blurbs, Life, School
Tags: , , , , ,
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And just like that…

…my academic career is over. My last final was today, and while I wish I felt as if I completely dominated it, it comes with it this sense of great closure to everything I’ve done all these years. The significance of this all probably won’t hit me until I convocate in the fall. But the fact that I won’t be going up to Burnaby Mountain for the same reasons anymore, I won’t have to buy highlighters, notebooks or touch my $200 graphing calculator – which will now become a paper weight… it all feels very strange now. It’s a little bit exciting, a little bit scary and a tad depressing when I think about it.

But on the flip side, I can’t wait until I get my bloody ‘alumni’ tag on my school e-mail address. When’s that supposed to happen, hey?

To be honest, I don’t really want to think past the end of this week. I guess it’s because I haven’t had much of a positive experience doing it. I don’t want to think too much about trying to find a job in the fall, because if my co-op job search taught me anything, it’s going to be tough for someone in my situation without a whole lot of credentials. I don’t want to worry about whether this isn’t really the end of academia for me, that I might have to trudge through school again. And I don’t want to worry about money. The only things I want to think about right now is wondering if I’ll have fun in Cuba next week, trying to figure out how to play ‘Why Georgia’ by John Mayer on the guitar and why I still suck at League of Legends. I want to worry about stupid stuff, not things that could cause a world of problems for me down the road.

Then there are the things I regret. I regret not being more confident during the first couple of years out of high school, that it took me so long to realize that I can be just as, if not better than the next person. I wish I met more people and held onto those that I got to know. At the same time, I feel as if I didn’t totally waste my time. I still made friends, grew as a person and got just a tad bit smarter and aware of the world around me. When I think about those things, I feel a little better.

I feel the caffeine wearing off, so I’ll leave it at that, grammar mistakes and all. Adios amigos, it’s been a long day.

Posted: August 17th, 2011
Categories: Late Night Blurbs, Life, School
Tags: , , ,
Comments: 2 Comments.

Let’s move on

Other than the last tidbit of a post, I haven’t blogged anything meaningful in a while. Here goes…

After almost a week of talking about the riots with friends and indulging in the coverage of it, I’m exhausted. Exhausted of hearing from this country and the rest of the world how crappy our city is, how Canucks fans are a bunch of dirt bags and overall how embarrassed we all are of our own home. It’s done and we fucked up, son. We managed to fuck a bunch of shit up and yes, we did it over a bloody hockey game. It sounds stupid but we actually did it. But ignoring the aftermath of the game, I feel positive about this city and the team moving forward:

One, our city as a whole distanced ourselves from the hooliganism and some of our own responded accordingly. There is no excuse for what they did, and let me be clear: those that have participated should and will be brought to justice by law. But it is in my hope that as a society we can move on to forgive and begin the healing. Let’s not allow ourselves to become the mob, the very thing that we’ve all expressed our distaste for. I’ve browsed at all the public shaming websites and groups set up after the riots, and a lot of good people were caught up in the mob mentality that ensued because of a few who were settled on creating a little chaos on the streets. Does this absolve them of their crimes? Certainly not! But I believe most have suffered for it, in some cases more-so in the form of personal threats to their families and themselves. Justice needs to be served in the court of law, not by vigilantes bent on causing more harm. We need to move forward together.

Two, when you look back at the season I think it’s safe to say it was tremendously successful. Our team went from perennial second round losers to being a game away from 16. They did it without riding a hot goaltender from start to finish like so many Cinderella runs we’ve seen in the past. The team got to where it was because of a total team effort. Three lines were chipping in, the defence core stepped up and our goalie won us some games. Unfortunately, our team just couldn’t get it done. You could tell the will and heart was there, but the bodies of many of them refused to go any further. In the end, the team just didn’t get the bounces.

And three, I’m confident our city will recover and move on. This team will be ready again and they will return. It can only get better from here.

Anyways…

I think I’ve come to accept the fact that graduation is a good thing. I just needed more time to think about what’s going to happen once everything’s said and done. And while there are some things that I wish I did before I graduated, I feel that once I cross that stage, I’ll be OK with it.

I mentioned things that I probably won’t be able to do when school’s over and done with. One of those things was playing at one of the Guitar Club shows held every semester. There is one coming up this Friday that I had planned on being a part of, but I’m in the unfortunate situation where I have a midterm on Tuesday and an Education 230 assignment bugging me this weekend, so practice time was at a premium and not enough. It’s disappointing… but I guess the next thing to consider is Youtube?

And to do that, I want an iPad 2, which I’ve been acting cranky over despite my friends insistence that a) it’s an expensive novelty and b) their respect for me would drop significantly. Come on guys… iPad 2! So cool!!!

 

 

When I said goodbye, I didn’t mean ‘see you later.’

Posted: June 20th, 2011
Categories: Current Events, Life, Randomness, School
Tags: , , ,
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Explosions off in the distance

Never before have I been this scared entering a new year until now.

I quit my job that I’ve had for 3.5 years. I could have stayed for a little while longer but in the end I didn’t feel happy working there anymore, despite some awesome people that I had a chance to work with. What kept me from leaving earlier was that I was afraid of leaving that security blanket of having some income come my way. When the money stops, it gets scary. I’ll be moving into my co-op placement tomorrow, though unfortunately it will only be a temporary venture, so I’ll be unemployed after my term is done. But I think I’ve made my peace with that realization. It’s going to be sketchy, but at the same time I figure now is a good time to do everything I wanted to do without having the obligation of a job hanging over me.

I’ve decided that this is the year I’ll be graduating. No more putting it off for another year, no more screwing around. Walking around campus this past semester made me feel old and put me in an strange position hanging around freshmen. They would go on about pooping out on midterms from classes I took four years ago, joining clubs and events that I’ve never heard of or missed out on in the past, and other first or second year drama. Conversing with them sometimes depressed me. I’d look around campus and see none of my friends around anymore, they have all gone off to begin their careers while I’m still eating hamburgers and fries alone in the cafeteria at Triple O’s. If this loneliness and social awkwardness tells me anything, it’s that I need to move on. There’s still things I wish I could have done during my time in school but I think I’ve milked this cow long enough. And despite missing out on things I wanted to do, I’m not feeling a whole lot of regret here.

At this point, I should have probably figured out what I wanted to do with my life. You would think 5-6 years is a lot of time to decide. At this point I’m not even sure anymore. I’ve changed my mind so many times when it comes to a career. I thought about being a teacher, but I’m not even sure if the amount of time I have right now until the end of my last semester during the summer will give me the necessary amount of volunteer hours to get into a teaching program. Then there’s graduate studies in business, but the math and statistics requirement scares me. It looks lofty for a numbers retard like me. If all these paths close on me, then I have nothing else but to find a job with what I’ve got. If being in a social science program has taught me anything, only the bright and experienced get into the big research and government institutes. The rest enter fields that have nothing to do with their degrees. And I guess that’s what scares me about my major: there isn’t a specific skill that I’ve learned that’s in such high demand right now. I heard a story of someone I knew where he went jobless for a year before he finally landed something. I don’t want that to happen.

I guess there’s still some things to be optimistic about 2011. I entered 2010 with a lot hanging over me emotionally, which resulted in late nights and tired mornings at work. I don’t think I’ll have that problem anymore. My conscious is clear and for the first time in a long time I feel ready to face the challenges that I’ve foreseen rather than run away from them.

I’m still scared, but I guess that’s something I’m content with for now.

Posted: January 9th, 2011
Categories: Life, School
Tags: , , , ,
Comments: 2 Comments.

So Here’s Your Future

Everyone’s graduating and it seems like I’m going to be the last one to move on. I don’t know if the time is right. I’m always wondering if I’ll be able to find something after I graduate. That’s the biggest fear: not being able to find a job or a job that will lead me somewhere. I hear all the horror stories of guys just wandering listlessly through the workforce and not being able to find anything out there. I wanted something in government, but this whole life in the bureaucracy, is it really what I want to do now? Is there a future in that here or would I have to move east to find something? Maybe should I prep myself for a career in education to to fall back on. Teaching has been something I’ve been thinking about. It would mean another semester or two in school, but I could live with that.

I honestly thought something like this would have resolved itself a lot sooner, but I guess things change and my indecisiveness got the best of me. But in the mean time, I should make the best of what time I have left as a student… all I know is that I will definitely miss being one when it’s all over.

Posted: August 18th, 2010
Categories: Late Night Blurbs, Life
Tags: , ,
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Things of note

Things that are on my mind right now:

  • From what I’m seeing on the twitter feed, the city feels royally bummed out about tonight’s latest debacle. In the past I would be too, but this year I’m feeling pretty numb. I think the loss to Calgary during the 2004 playoffs was the last time I was emotionally connected with the team. After that, I just started to gradually not care. But, on the plus side, my main man Shane O’Brien scored a goal tonight. Mike Gillis, re-sign this man please.
  • I don’t like making public very private things, but I will say this: it’s hard not caring, or even pretending not to. In the end I guess I still do care.
  • School starts tomorrow and I’m not ready. Even though I’m officially only taking one course and on the wait list for another, it seems like I really need to cut down on the things I have planned for the summer.
  • Graduation… how’s that going to work out?
  • I can’t wait for Portland. As much as I love Vancouver, I need to get out of this city.
  • This summer I will learn ‘Doesn’t Remind Me’ by Audioslave. That song has been bothering me for a long time now. It needs to be learned, but darn it tremelo picking is hard.
  • The Fray never get old. Listen to ‘Uncertainty.’ Lovely song.

I’m out.

Bags and School

Foolishly, I drank an energy drink at 9 this evening so I’m a little buzzed, a little anxious right now. I’ll spit something out before I crash for the night.

I like talking about school. You may not like reading about school. That is fine, because me neither. We share a bond in regards to how such an evil place like that can cause so much inconvenience in our lives. I can already tell that I will not enjoy this entry as much as the others, nor would I think this is something I’d be particularly proud of. But I fucking hate the place. Maybe it’s because I’m actually caring about my grades this semester and things aren’t going so well in that regard, or maybe it’s because I’m lost in the crowd, my friends are either not there when I’m there and the loneliness is killing me.

Yeah, it’s going to be one of those posts.

I started thinking about graduation a few days ago, wondering when I’d get the fuck out of that place. Everywhere I go my friends seem like they’re nearing graduation already. On the flip side, some of my other friends are entering college life for the first time, and the idea of me graduating with them when all is said and done is scary, because I never envisioned I’d spend such a substantial part of my youth in school. Shit, if you’d ask me four years ago, I’d thought this semester was my last.

But at the same time, all that bullshit that they told you about college, how when you left high school it was the real world for us. We’d be eaten alive, the merciless would prey on us and upon leaving the vault it was nothing more than a wasteland – didn’t understand that? It was a Fallout reference.

Anyways.

It was supposed to be a dog eat dog world out there. It isn’t. In a way, I’m still being kept on a leash, kept back from certain realities. My profs, even though it’s scaled back dramatically, still baby me. It’s ironic, how a place that’s caused me so much grief is what’s keeping me back from what I would hate even more. I guess I’m scared. Or maybe I just need that summer vacation to come sooner rather than later.

I saw the gnarliest bag this evening. It’s something that I’ll never buy because I see it more as a novelty than anything. Parading around town with this thing, I don’t know what people would think about me. Plus it looks a little awkward, but I’m sure with the price you’re supposedly paying for this thing it should at least fulfill some of that requirement. But regardless, it’s dope I tell you.

shop-gentei-reload-messenger-bag-1

shop-gentei-reload-messenger-bag-2

More from High Snobiety.

Posted: February 20th, 2009
Categories: Fashion and Art, School
Tags: , , ,
Comments: 12 Comments.