Posts Tagged ‘School’

One last time under ‘School’

It's been almost two weeks since my last exam from school, with my professional designation exam coming up in a couple of days that I feel extremely ill-prepared for right now. After that begins the job search, which if past experience is of any indication, should be plenty of fun. I feel like I'm entering yet another phase of my life that I can't really seem to figure out how it will go from here on out. I don't know if life's supposed to be like this, weaving in and out of what's comfortable with the kind of life events that seem to shake the very foundation of what was familiar to me.

A few years ago I would have embraced any sort of chaos being introduced in my life. I wanted to feel as if I was continuously getting better both as a person and in whatever professional endeavours I wanted to pursue, and believing that living while scraping by for that dream you had was part of the hustle. 

I don't feel that way anymore. It never occurred to me until recently how much I want things to settle down. I don't want to feel as if I'm fighting through life anymore. For once, I want to know that I'm on the right path this time.

It'll be a bittersweet moment when I walk across that stage in two weeks. I'll be saying farewell to people that I've shed blood and tears with during many long nights, but it's onwards to seeking that home life I never knew I wanted.

Posted: June 2nd, 2015
Categories: Life, School
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On hold

I sort of saw it coming, but coming into this program, I don't think I'll be able to run any marathons this year. It sort of kills me to even come to that decision, but due to the full time nature of training for one and the amount of assignments coming in from school, I think it would be best if I put it on hold until the dust settles for a bit. Still hoping I'll be able to hit my goal for the 10K this year, but we'll see what happens I guess.

Posted: January 18th, 2015
Categories: Life, School
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Comments: 1 Comment.

Post Exam Week Reflection

It's been a couple days since finals ended, and in essence, the end of my first term at BCIT. I knew going into this term that BCIT had a reputation for pushing their students to their mental limits, and after going through the meat grinder myself, I guess the stories were true. After 5 exams in one week – two the week before – I think this semester has killed all my drive and excitement over school that I once expressed a few months earlier. I think it's safe to say, after I graduate this is it for my academic career.

Wanted to decompress after the term ended. I've been up since 9AM today, decided to engage in activities that wouldn't really use my brain a whole lot. It's almost 5PM and I don't think I've checked my phone at all.  Aside from this I've been pretty disconnected from everything today. Fuck.

Posted: December 15th, 2014
Categories: Life, School
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The way that gravity pulls on you and me

Haven't had a lot of time to do this for a while now. Life's gotten a little crazy, but the fact that I'm still here means something I guess.

Music and running have been keeping me sane these days, and thank God for that. However, I'm not quite sure if I'll be ready for the marathon in May, and with my school schedule next semester looking disgusting, I think I might be taking a break from dragonboating, and who knows when I'll come back. There's so much uncertainty next year, and I'm guessing this chaos won't end for a while. But that's OK. I'm not a fan of stability anyways.

Posted: November 23rd, 2014
Categories: Late Night Blurbs, Life, School
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Walk with me, Suzy Lee

Never thought I'd use the 'School' category to write a blog post on here ever again, but here we are. I'm been wavering between excitement and dread these past few weeks, I guess because I had a great summer and I'm reluctant to let go of that. But at the same time, I feel as if I'm moving towards something important, that my life is finally going in the right direction, that I know what the hell I'm doing.

Posted: September 1st, 2014
Categories: School
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Comments: 2 Comments.

Reveling in the chaos

I woke up earlier than I thought I would today. I must of slept for only 6 hours, but I guess that's because my body has been conditioned to do that for the past two years because of my job. Last Friday was my last day, and waking up this morning, I don't think it's really hit me yet. Maybe when I look at my bank account later in the month I'll realize what had happened, but for now it just feels like day one of a two month holiday before school starts up in the fall. I haven't been in this situation in a while, unemployed and with plenty of time in my pocket. It's unsettling in a way, because I remember the last time I was in this spot. How hard it was to find a job and not knowing what was going to happen to me. But for some reason, I'm attracted to that lack of comfort in my life, and the reason why I decided to forego a stable paycheque for something more. I knew it was going to be rough coming out of university – and it was – and this is going to be no different.

Posted: June 30th, 2014
Categories: Life, School
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Fighting it out

I received my acceptance letter a few weeks ago, so I guess it's official: I'm going back to school this fall.

There's a part of me that's terrified of this decision. I'll be removing myself from a fairly cushy job and volutarily going back to living like a student again, which can be fun, but it can also be an uncomfortable lifestyle for someone who's used to seeing a paycheque every two weeks. I think most of all, I'm scared of what's ahead of me. There are no guarantees in life, and I'm not sure what the road ahead is going to look like.

But I guess what keeps me going is the lessons I've learned in life so far. That it's OK to be scared of the unknown, and that ambition comes with a certain amount of risk that we have to learn to tolerate.

Posted: May 14th, 2014
Categories: Life, School
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Comments: 1 Comment.

Decompressing

Flex day today. This one's a little different though. My days off since January have been spent writing exams, with the one yesterday being my last. I woke up this morning with no where to go, no place to be. It's a surreal feeling because I haven't had a day where I didn't feel pressured to have any sort of obligation to meet. No spectre of some sort of deadline over my head. Some people relish in being busy and preoccupied, but after four months of kicking and screaming through full time work and school, it's nice to breathe.

Posted: April 15th, 2014
Categories: Life, School
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Comments: 2 Comments.

I got asked this over the weekend

"Why are you doing this to yourself?"

This was in reference to my schedule these days, which has been dominated by mostly school work. I hadn't been out of the house very much since January. I haven't seen my friends very often since the semester started, my time was mostly thinking about school 50% of the time, working 25% and whatever was left was spent training for the marathon and dragonboat practices. It was 2 AM in the morning while I was studying for a final that I realized that these past 3 months I haven't been living like a normal human being. I wanted to pull a Dave Chappelle.

I didn't know what to say to him at the time. I guess when it comes to ambition, there's a level of psychosis and sacrifice involved that sometimes we don't understand.

'cause I wonder sometimes of a still verdictless life.

Posted: March 24th, 2014
Categories: Life, School
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It’s been a long time since 22

It was a low key 27th for me. Used my birthday pass this year to go out for a run after work, then locked myself up in a room playing the guitar for God knows how long. I've been swamped with school work every day since January, and I told myself that I'd spend today doing anything but. It was nice to – at least for a night – do things that I've enjoyed doing since I was 15. My mind was blank this evening. I missed that.

Thank you all for the birthday wishes. I don't like making a big deal out of my birthday when it comes, but I do make it a priority to express my thanks for those who recognize it.

Posted: February 5th, 2014
Categories: Late Night Blurbs, Life
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